Rethinking Masculinity: Supporting Boys to Learn, Grow, and Aspire Freely

When we look at the way boys are spoken about in schools, it’s not uncommon to hear terms like “disengaged,” “disruptive,” or “underachieving.” But how often do we stop and dig deeper into what’s driving that behaviour? For many boys in the UK, the pressure to conform to rigid ideas of masculinity starts early - and it often has a lasting impact on how they learn and what they believe they can become.

The traditional image of what it means to be a man can be incredibly limiting. It’s no surprise that many boys steer away from roles that are seen as “emotional” or “soft,” not because they lack the passion or potential, but because those roles fall outside what society still expects of them.

In this article, we’re exploring how we can challenge these outdated norms. We’ll look at why boys might disconnect from school, how harmful narratives about masculinity still shape career choices, and what we can do to support boys in developing aspirations free from stereotypes.

Understanding Why Boys May Disconnect from Learning and Limit Their Career Choices

We’ve probably all heard a boy say things like, “School’s not for me,” or “That subject’s boring.” But more often than not, these comments reflect deeper social expectations rather than a lack of interest. In many cases, boys are trying to fit into a narrow definition of masculinity that discourages engagement with school and limits their imagination around future careers.

Boys are often pushed to present a version of themselves that’s tough, independent, and emotionally closed off. This can make it harder for them to connect with subjects that are creative, collaborative, or caring in nature - especially if they’re worried about being judged by peers.

A few common reasons boys may disengage or reject certain careers include:

• Peer influence and early conditioning – conforming often means avoiding anything viewed as overly academic or emotional.

• Lack of visible male role models in education – without seeing men in teaching or caring roles, boys may not consider those options for themselves.

• Pressure to appear emotionally detached – many boys feel they must hide their nurturing side to be accepted.

• Social stigma around caring careers – roles like nursing, early years education or social care are still wrongly considered “female” professions by some.

• Influence on subject choices – boys are often encouraged towards STEM or sports, and away from creative or care-related subjects.

To help boys thrive, we need learning spaces where they can express themselves authentically - without fear of ridicule or rejection.

Tackling the Myth: “Real Men Don’t Teach or Care”

There’s a persistent - and damaging - myth that caring professions aren’t suitable for men. Whether it’s seen in media, heard in family conversations, or picked up in subtle school messaging, the idea that men shouldn’t work in education or emotional support roles still carries weight. And it’s holding boys back.

Most boys grow up rarely seeing men bottle-feed babies on TV or lead story time in a nursery. When men do appear in these spaces, they’re often presented as unusual or exceptional. This invisibility reinforces the idea that care and education are not masculine - and that message sinks in early.

But reality tells a different story. Across the UK, male educators, support workers, and mental health professionals are doing incredible work every day. Take David Wright, a longtime advocate for men in early years education, who led Paint Pots Nurseries with passion and dedication. Or Jay Sparkle, a senior nursery manager who champions nurturing practice and speaks openly about how rewarding early years teaching can be.

Suppressing boys’ natural caring instincts comes at a cost. Many struggle with emotional expression and connection later in life because they were taught those qualities were weak. It doesn’t need to be this way.

We must reframe the narrative - showing that care, compassion, and communication are strengths, not shortcomings. Teaching and caregiving are meaningful, skilled, and essential professions. When we highlight this, boys begin to see themselves reflected in these roles – and feel free to choose careers that match who they really are.

Helping Boys Build Careers Free From Stereotypes

For change to truly take root, we have to start as early as possible. By their mid-teens, many boys have already ruled out entire career paths - not due to lack of skill, but because of how those roles are perceived.

It’s vital that we invite boys to explore all professions from the beginning - whether that’s early years education, veterinary care, construction, or performing arts. Simply saying “you can do anything” isn’t enough; we need to model it and create environments where diverse masculinities are welcomed.

Boys benefit hugely from seeing that they can be both strong and sensitive, confident and kind. Schools that promote this kind of balanced messaging help break the cycle. But families, career mentors, and workplace leaders also have key roles. Sometimes, a simple suggestion - “You’d be brilliant with young children” - is enough to change the direction of someone’s future.

Let’s not forget the wider impact either. When our workforce reflects a balance of gender perspectives, outcomes improve for everyone. In early years settings, for example, children benefit from having both male and female role models - giving them a richer understanding of people and relationships.

Thankfully, change is happening. Projects like Festival of the Boy, and the work our partners do through Male Childcare & Teaching Jobs, are helping boys imagine futures that break with convention. These initiatives give permission to dream - and to do so without limits.

By encouraging boys to think beyond traditional roles, we’re giving them the tools to build careers that reflect their full range of talents and interests - not just what’s been expected of them.

Conclusion: Redefining Masculinity Helps Us All

The way we talk to boys about their futures matters. When we break down outdated gender norms, we’re not just offering more career options - we’re allowing boys to grow into more connected, well-rounded human beings.

Let’s create a culture where curiosity, compassion, and courage are at the heart of what we value in all children - boys included. Where a young man can dream of being a teacher, nurse, artist or carer without fear of judgement.

Because real strength lies not in living up to someone else’s idea of masculinity, but in having the freedom to choose who we become.